Corona Letters #68 - If My Clothes Could Talk - Part 2 - Do I Have a Sole?

Last weeks blog was an exploration of what my clothes would say if they could talk during this pandemic.  Today I'm indulging myself (and all of you) with a part 2,  today we will be hearing from my overly worn slippers, amongst others.  Enjoy!

In case you missed part 1, you can read it here.

Today's Episode:  Do I have a sole?

Blouse #1:   Does anyone else smell that????!!!  Is that you Sweatpants?

Sweatpants:  No.  I was just washed.   I am 100% Tide-fresh.

Blouse #1:  Workout Clothes?

Workout Clothes:  Nope.  She hasn't worn us in weeks (read: months).  Besides, that doesn't smell like sweat........ it smells like something else.

Slippers:  Sorry guys..... it's me.   It's "eau de foot" that you're smelling.    She wears me all the damn time!  She used to go out more and I'd get a break but now she even wears me to the grocery store sometimes!  Me!  To the grocery store!

Pajamas:  I feel ya bro.  She thinks that if she puts on a bra, it's acceptable to go anywhere in me.  I'd never been outside the house before this pandemic.   And, IMHO, pink pajamas with unicorns on ice skates pattern should probably stay in the house.   But, I have no say in the matter.  She's lost her friggin' mind.

Slippers:   Yeah.  I don't get it, she has like fifteen pairs of shoes that are MADE for going outside and yet, she refuses to take me off.   I'm literally falling apart.

Fat Jeans:  I got a hole in my crotch and she still wears me.   

"The Cure" T-shirt: You guys need to just chill.  She's been wearing me since college.   I'm like a golf course,  I have 18 holes.   I have pit stains and an odor that can't be washed out, but I'm still her go to shirt in the summer.  I don't think she even realizes that I'm COMPLETELY see through at this point.

Blouse #1:  Here goes "The Cure" t-shirt again!  She thinks just because she's the one who's been in this closet the longest, she knows better than any of us.   And, FWIW, no one even knows "The Cure" anymore, the only cure we're interested in is the cure to this virus so we can all go out again.

"The Cure" T-shirt:  First of all, I prefer "They/them" pronouns.   I am a non-binary t-shirt.  And, FYI, "The Cure" was the best band ever!

"Notorious RBG" T-shirt:  I dissent. You are irrelevant.

Workout Sneakers:  Talk about irrelevant.   When she actually does work out these days, she does it barefoot in the living room.   She's all but forgotten me.   I've been in here so long, I'm growing new treads.

High Heels:  That's nothing!  Even before the pandemic she realized that we were uncomfortable and she didn't need us to feel like a "real woman".    Now she has her "hang out sneakers" "workout sneakers" and "dress sneakers".   Dress sneakers?!?!?!  WTF?   No offense Dress Sneakers.

Dress Sneakers:  None taken.   Don't feel too bad. She doesn't wear me anymore either.  She doesn't go anywhere "fancy"

Hang-out Sneakers:  Or me.   She doesn't hang out with anyone.

Slippers:  Again!  That's because she wears me all the damn time.   As soon as she wakes up, she slips me on, and only takes me off to take a shower, or go to bed.   I don't even know who I am anymore.  Am I a slipper? Am I a shoe?  Am I a boot?   She expects me to be all these things.  I swear she's chipping away at my very sole.

Blouse #1:  I feel for you Slippers, I really do.  That being said, do you think you could hang out somewhere else when she showers?    Your smell is kind of permeating the rest of us.

Slippers:  How do you think I feel?!?!

Sweatpants:  Why don't you hang out in the bathroom?

Slippers:  Do you have any idea what it smells like in there?  

Blouse #1:   We don't really care.  You and your odor are not welcome in here.

"Notorious RBG" T-shirt:  I dissent.   Slippers, you have the right to choose where you want to be.

Dress Sneakers:   C'mon RBG, the stench is killing us.

"Notorious RBG" T-shirt:  It's not our decision.

Slippers:  Hey guys, it's not like I can walk out of here on my own.   It's her body(feet).   She decides my fate.

"The Cure" T-shirt:  Yeah. She's probably just get a cute new pair and throw you in the trash.  She does that.

Slippers:  Wait.  What?  Oh crap...

TO BE CONTINUED..........................................