Corona Letters #37

The M*A*S*H thing

When my husband and I were first dating almost 30 years ago, I didn't know very much about Korea.

Here is my list of what I knew about Korea when I was 24:

It was in Asia

My childhood friend's family had adopted a little girl from Korea who ate a lot of rice.

The Korean War (just that there was a war, shady on the details of that war)

M*A*S*H

That was it.

My husband told me early in our relationship that he did not like the show M*A*S*H, and I was, in my white privileged bubble, surprised that he didn't like a show that took place in Korea, about Korea, that sometimes had Koreans in it.

Apparently, M*A*S*H didn't offer a fair portrayal of Koreans.  They were usually shown as poor, dirty and uneducated.   Also, unbeknownst to me, they sometimes used non-Koreans in the roles of Koreans and their ability to speak Korean well was mediocre at best.

Wait.  The Koreans weren't even Korean?

And so began my education about my own white privilege (although there was no word for this 30 years ago) and how to be an anti-racist.

I can honestly say that I have never, ever watched M*A*S*H again.  It wasn't even a hard thing for me to do.  How could I watch something that made someone I loved so uncomfortable?  Easy.

This has been a continuing education process for me.   Over the years,  the poorly executed portrayal of Asian characters has been pointed out to me in movies (i.e., Breakfast at Tiffany's), Broadway shows (i.e., South Pacific) and operas (i.e., Madame Butterfly).   There are many, many other examples.

I have noticed that when I've pointed out these things to other white friends over the years, I am frequently met with the "but it's such a good show/movie/opera" response.   In other words, "I'm going to like it anyway".   Hmmmm.

All this being said, I have not reached the peak of the anti-racist mountain, and as a privileged white woman, I doubt I ever will.   Even with all I have learned over the past thirty years, I still have far to go.

The Black Lives Matter movement has certainly illuminated this for me.

Recently, I came upon an article that there are some racial issues with the books/movies "The Help" and "To Kill a Mockingbird".   These issues mostly center around the protagonist being a "White Savior" for the black characters and, thusly, both stories contribute to the monster that is White privilege. (although there has been some "progress" because the white savior in "The Help" was at least a woman, and not a suit-clad man like Atticus Finch)

The realization that these movies where not what I always thought threw me for a loop, and left me a little stunned.  I truly believed these were anti-racist movies.   "To Kill a Mockingbird" has always been one of my favorite books/movies.  I have always related to the character Scout.  Did I have to ban these movies from my life now?  Did I have to say goodbye to Scout?

I mentioned this to my husband.   I asked him if I had to stop watching these beloved movies just like I stopped watching M*A*S*H.  

He said to me, "It was easy for you to stop watching M*A*S*H because you loved me."

At first I thought he was giving me permission to keep watching the movies I loved, but I don't think that's what he was saying.

I think he was saying that that was easy, but the next step will be harder.  The next step will be the steeper part of the mountain.

I believe many white people have soft spots for a group that is marginalized.

This is usually the result of loving someone who is Black, Asian, Latino, Gay, Trans, etc.

It is easy to fight for the group, if someone we love is a target of hate.

It is so much harder to grow that soft spot to encompass all the marginalized groups.

All the people.

If my own experience is at all universal, we will all eventually love someone who is:

Black

Asian

Latino

Gay

Trans

and the list goes on.

So, why not just start loving all the groups now?

Why not make it easy for ourselves to become more anti-racist and less white privileged by loving all the people?

Does this mean we have to stop watching/reading "M*A*S*H" and "The Help" and "To Kill a Mockingbird"?   I'm not really sure I have the answer to that question. 

I do think we have to stop saying, "but it's such a good show/movie".

I do think we have to stop saying, "I'm going to watch it anyway".

We have to start thinking about how these movies portray the people we love, and the people we will love,   and all the colors of the rainbow.

Note:  the Black Lives Matter movement has carefully curated a list of movies that are now available on Netflix to view.   Perhaps we should put Skeeter and Scout on the shelf for a while and give these titles our full attention.

 

Second Note:  I had my husband proof read this for a "white privilege" check.  Something I gotta do when I write anything about race.