Corona Letters #58 - Thanksgiving this year

We will be having a three-person Thanksgiving this year.

It will be just my husband, our youngest daughter and me.

Our oldest daughter is going to be spending the holiday in North Dakota by herself.

The rest of our extended family is spread out across the country and the world.

It makes me incredibly sad that our holiday will be so small but this is NOT our saddest or worst Thanksgiving ever, not even close (I won't bore you with our worst Thanksgiving stories, but I'm sure you have some of your own).   We are staying apart in hopes that we will be able to be together again next year.   It is sad, yes, but not a tragedy.  There are people in this country who will be deeply missing someone this year, possibly someone lost to Covid -19, and my heart goes out to them.   For them this will be an extremely difficult holiday.   For the rest of us, it's an unfortunate inconvenience that we can't be with our extended families, and maybe I'm a mean, callous person but I'm okay with waiting, if it means we can be together again.

At the end of a Passover seder the celebrants say, "next year in Jerusalem".   While this statement is pregnant with much deeper meaning, the most basic summation is "a reminder of the suffering of the past (and present) to hopes for wholeness and freedom for all in the future" (Dara Lind, Vox, August 5, 2014).

There has been a lot of suffering this year - illness, financial troubles, unemployment - and, on top of all that, we are all stuck in our homes, day in and day out.    It's a lot, it's overwhelming, and many people are depressed and anxious.   In addition to there being a pandemic due to coronavirus, there is a national mental health crisis that our country doesn't have enough resources to address.   Suicide rates are higher than ever.  The country is in a dismal state.

However, most of us, if we dig deep enough, can find something to be grateful for this year.  Maybe it's our health, the health of our family, or our job, or our home, or maybe it's a person - a spouse, a parent, a child, or maybe a friend who has been by our side throughout this difficult year.   It doesn't have to be big.   It just has to be big enough to say, "for this I am grateful".

And, if that doesn't work for you then I suggest you wallow in your misery, at this, the most depressing of holidays.   Feel all those sad "the world is conspiring against you" feelings, and then take all this unhappiness and store it somewhere deep in your memory bank.   

Then next year, when you have all or most of your people together again, and you're hopefully happy again, take a moment to remember this year.  Take just one moment next year when all the candles are ablaze on the table, and everyone's had a little too much wine, all are laughing at Uncle Harry's horrible jokes that he tells every year, the kids are running in circles around the table because they've had too much sugar. and the grown ups are too drunk to care, and remember, remember the misery from this year.   It will make it all so much sweeter.   The bitter makes the sweet sweeter.   Maybe this hope of better things to come will make the difficulties of this year easier to endure.

It would make no sense to say, "Next year in Jerusalem" at the Thanksgiving table.   They don't even celebrate American Thanksgiving in Jerusalem (unless you are an ex-pat).  That being said, I will take the lesson embedded within this prayer.   I will remember the suffering past and present and hope for a brighter future and pray that "next year we will all be reunited."

I pray the same for you, whatever that looks like.