Corona Letters #39

Yesterday I posted a silly meme to Facebook of a squirrel with his hands in the hair saying "I'm done."

I posted this picture with the caption "Ive decided I'm done with this pandemic thing.  Anyone else?"

Admittedly it was a silly picture with a silly caption but that's not how I feel in my heart.  In my heart I feel really done.    But, we don't write serious things of Facebook.  Unless of course, they aren't about us personally.   On social media we are supposed to present ourselves as thriving, happy, all-together individuals even when we are falling apart.   A few people reacted to my post with laughing emojis which kind of made my heart sink more.   But why wouldn't they?  It was a light hearted post, just like social media is supposed to be.  No real feelings.

I think we all know that everyone is experiencing this pandemic differently.

For various reasons, some people are actually enjoying it.  Maybe their kids are home from college, or elsewhere, and they get to have some quality time with them.  Or maybe, they are an extreme introvert and the pandemic permission to not have to be social is what they've been waiting for their whole life.  Or maybe they are home alone with their spouse, and they've never had this time alone before and it is blissful.   I don't know.  I guess there are many, many reasons people are enjoying this strange time.  I am not in that camp so I can't list them all.

Tolstoy said, "Happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in it's own way"

I'm not sure this applies to the pandemic but I do think that there are probably infinitely more ways to be unhappy during this pandemic than there are to be happy.

Maybe someone you love is sick, or has a pre-existing condition that means contracting the virus could be deadly.

Maybe you lost a job that paid all the bills.

Maybe you have people living with you at this time that make things difficult.

Maybe you are abused.

Maybe you are an addict and staying clean during the pandemic is enormously challenging

Maybe you suffer from depression already and this is just exacerbating that, or maybe someone you love is struggling with depression.

Maybe you have anxiety already and the added anxiety of the pandemic, plus racial tensions, plus police brutality, plus killer hornets is more than your little heart can bear.

Maybe you are an extrovert and not being able to see people is killing you.

Maybe you live alone and feel extremely isolated.

Maybe someone you love dearly, a child, a sibling, a parent lives thousands of miles away and you worry, constantly about their well being or if you'll ever be able to see them again.

Maybe you desperately crave human contact from someone other than the people living in your house during quarantine.   You just want a hug.

The list is infinite.   I couldn't possibly touch on all the things making this hard.  If I missed something that is particularly hard for you during this time, I am sorry.  I feel your pain.

I'm not going to discuss what is making this time particularly hard for me, maybe it's multiple things.

But I can tell you that it is not laughing emoji worthy.

Maybe that's the case for you too.

Maybe you feel all alone and sad and depressed with very few outlets.

And, as usual, everyone on social media seems to be doing fine so why should you complain?

I want you to know that I would hug you, if I could.

I would come to your house and have tea with you, if I could.

I would have a long heart to heart, maskless conversation with you, if I could.

I would just sit with you for a while, if I could.

But, I can't.

So instead I give you this.  I give you solidarity.   You are not alone in your feelings.

I am here if you need me.

Laughing emojis need not apply.

Note:  I do not harbor any resentment to the people who commented with laughing emojis to yesterdays post.   The post was silly and deserved that emoji.